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Beautiful Minds Wellness

The Brain People Podcast 2022

Daniel Binus

Powerful Tools for Healthy Grieving

Amanda Anguish

Becoming the New You: The 4 Stages of Change

K'dee Elsen Crews

Good Therapy: How to Maximize Your Therapy Experience

Attachment Styles: The Key to Understanding Your Relationships

Krystin Henley

Telling the Hard Truth in Your Relationships: Betrayal Trauma Part 1

What to Do When Trust Has Been Broken: Betrayal Trauma Part 2

You’re Looking at the Problem - How Screens Affect Our Brains

A New Epidemic: Teen Suicide

CBT for Kids

The Good Side of Guilt

Staying Mentally and Emotionally Strong During the Chaos of COVID-19

The Role of Boundaries in Mental Health

Mariola Porras

Developing Personal Accountability

Unknown Sides of Narcissism

Dealing with Trauma Part 1

Dealing with Trauma Part 2

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 1

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 2

Karen Nicola

Healthy Grieving and Memorial Day

Victim vs. Victor Mentality

Dissociation

Ten Cognitive Distortions

The ABC’s of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

Optimizing Mental Health in Summer

Root Causes of Mental Illness


Welcome to the Brain People podcast, a show where 4 mental health experts team up to bring you practical tools for overcoming mental health challenges. The Brain People don't replace your doctor or therapist, but we will give you some extra tools to help you on your journey. So join us as we fight mental illness, 1 episode at a time. Welcome to the Brain People podcast. I'm your host, Dr.

Daniel Bynas, and I'm a psychiatrist and I'm joined by my co-host, Dr. Katie Elson. I'm a licensed clinical psychologist. So today we have another special episode. And again, this is related to a lot of what's happening in Ukraine with the trauma.

And so, we really wanna speak to those of you who are going through trauma, but what we're going to talk about is not just relevant to those of you in Ukraine, but there are many people that are dealing and have dealt with trauma. So whoever you are, this information is for you that have dealt with acutely stressful and traumatic situations. And we really hope that it will be helpful. 1 of the things that we really wanna hone in on today is dealing with avoidance. And when we talk about avoidance, avoidance is the number 1 barrier to actually overcoming trauma.

And so we wanna look at how that can manifest itself and also what we can do to overcome avoidance. So Dr. Katie, could you let me know or let us know a little bit about what we're talking about when we're talking about avoidance in the context of dealing with trauma? Yeah, so for avoidance, 1 of the criteria for PTSD or other related traumatic type disorders, avoidance is often external, avoidance of things that remind us of the trauma or internal, right? Even emotions that are brought up.

And so external reminders might be something of like sights, sounds, people, anything that really reminds us, internal again with those emotions, but that can then translate further into just an overall avoidance of engaging in life. And so we withdraw, right? Isolation and withdrawal is 1 thing that I see the most with people who have endured trauma. And so they avoid even the people that they love. So it's not just avoiding bad things or things that remind them of the trauma, but also avoiding good things.

It's almost as if it's a natural response of when I hurt, right, I want to kind of pull within myself. I wanna withdraw. I wanna heal by myself, but it's actually very contrary to what we need as human beings. Yeah, and it's interesting because even as you're talking, I'm thinking about even like when there's an animal, like a dog or something that gets injured, oftentimes it'll withdraw and go under a bush or something and kind of hide away and lick its wounds and not wanna be bothered. And I think for most of us, when we go through trauma, there is that, almost that instinct to like withdraw.

And of course, to avoid like, okay, well, if I got traumatized by a hot stove, then I'm not gonna get near, I'm gonna withdraw. And I don't even want to get near a hot stove anymore. But it kind of can go to the extreme. Cause it seems like there can be maybe a good element in there, there's a reason, right? Like we learn like, oh, well, if I expose myself or I'm in a situation like this, then something bad could happen.

That can be a good thing, but it sounds like it can also become a bad thing as well. And I think some people might have the question, well, why, right? If, you know, relationships are good, Why am I pulling away? It's very confusing. They call it like the paradoxes of trauma, where the person's so confused.

Basically what trauma does is it really shakes a person and their beliefs about the world, about themselves, about God, that it puts them in a state of confusion where I don't know what to trust, I don't know whom to trust, and so I'm just gonna isolate completely. So maybe that stove, yeah, that was dangerous, but what if other things are dangerous? And so it becomes overgeneralized to things that are even good for us. And therefore like the dog pulls away just not knowing what is safe and what is not safe. Yeah, yeah, and I really like that analogy because it helps me understand and I hope it helps all of you listeners understand too, that again, avoidance is not all bad.

If there's really something that is dangerous, right? Then that's a healthy thing. But if it becomes overgeneralized And we start just like avoiding even thinking about what happened or talking about or connecting with people. That is, and just with withdrawing overall and avoiding life, if you will, that's where it really can become unhealthy. And Some people also withdraw and isolate out of shame.

They're so ashamed with their reaction to the trauma, right? And people, when they isolate, they put on a mask. And so people around you are also suffering, but you sometimes look around and you think, oh, well, they're dealing with it. They look okay. And so I'm not okay.

So I'm gonna, out of shame, withdraw and not share. And so then people are all wounded around you, including yourself. But no one's talking about it. No one's talking about it. Everyone's pretending like it's just fine.

So let's talk a little bit about overcoming this unhealthy avoidance then. What are some things that people can do? Yeah, so 1 of the things is just talking about the trauma. So we're saying, you know, the natural reaction is not to talk about it or to isolate, but it's actually to then talk about it, right? Because there's a lot of healing in talking and processing.

So from a brain standpoint, our brain needs to process the details of what's happening. Because if not, then there becomes gaps in our memory and we start filling in those gaps with incorrect, distorted thoughts. Oh, it's happened because it's my fault, or, you know, oh, God is doing this to punish us. And those distorted thoughts are actually what causes a lot of the pain and suffering after the trauma passes. It's not the actual memories themselves.

And so by talking through it, you have different people being able to correct those distorted thoughts of like, oh, I think it's my fault. No, no, that's not your fault. Right, and sharing their perspective so that you can really come to a more full picture of what really is truth, right? Exactly. And 1 of the important things that I think about, you know, in the Bible, it says that the truth will set you free, right?

And so it's those lies. And I believe that Satan tries to plant those lies and he often uses trauma as part of that to make us confused, to make us avoid things, to make us in that fearful state. And it really enslaves us in the end. Yeah, and you see time and time again, natural disasters, you know, there are other people that come in as, you know, response teams. And what they do is they're doing just that.

They're trying to help the person process what has happened by talking about it. Yeah, and it's like, I've often thought about like, well, why do people that have been traumatized actually keep reliving the trauma? Why does that keep playing in their mind, both during the day and even at night with nightmares, et cetera? And I think a big part of that is cause your brain is really trying to make sense of it. It's trying to say like, okay, well, yeah, how can I wrap my mind around this literally and so that I can kind of package it and lay it to rest and move on?

And so if we don't take the time to process and really start making sense of it, our mind is gonna keep just like ruminating and ruminating. And so it's kind of almost paradoxical in that the less we actually talk about trauma, the more we're gonna relive it in our minds. Yeah, they use the analogy of like traumas like you take a filing cabinet with papers and you throw it everywhere. It's just a shock Trauma recovery is picking up those papers Filing it away putting it in the folder and then putting it in the back right in your memory storage and it just becomes a memory. Wow, I love that analogy because, and I love the analogy as far as like realizing, okay, yeah, I can pick it up, but it would go a lot faster if we did it together, right?

And we worked as a team to pick up those papers and file them together and we had a way of doing that. Now, do you have any thoughts about ways that people could practically debrief or talk about these things in a way that would really help them to make sense of what just happened. Yeah, so I think it's important of also who you talk with. If it's fear-based and everyone's just talking about the emotions behind it, it can be really hard. What we're talking about, it's beneficial to talk about the details, right?

What is happening? Why is it happening? More so from a very objective standpoint than the subjective, very emotionally charged experience. So making sure that you're with people that you can trust that would be able to do that instead of just kind of flaming, right? Providing fuel for the fire and having the flames increase.

Yeah. Cause it makes sense to me that you don't want to, you know, elevate the fear element. You don't want to elevate even the anger element. It's okay to acknowledge those emotions and to experience them and to say, hey, yeah, this is normal, but we also don't want those emotions to just like control the whole process, right? Yeah, so sometimes people have facilitators, somebody that can be able to facilitate that conversation.

So yes, expressing, but also when talking about the details of it, making sure that it's grounded in what has happened. Yeah, and I'm thinking, you know, even as far as a facilitator, And if you're trying to maybe facilitate something like this, there might be certain questions that we can ask 1 another and things like, well, you know, what, first of all, like you said, what, what happened and, and what, how did you experience this? And where are there things that I'm seen accurately or maybe not so accurately and really kind of like, okay, so this is what happened now. And then maybe even in turn, like, okay, what does this mean for us? And kind of understanding like what this is all about for me in my life right now and kind of contextualizing it and that sort of thing.

And also asking, why do you think it's happening? Often we don't want to ask that, especially when it comes to God. 1 of the things that people often, like it's just natural for people to question, why is this happening? Why are bad things happening to good people? Why God?

And we forget that God is big enough to be questioned. And he actually wants us to wrestle with him. And so having a space where you can have that open dialogue, why is this happening, right? That can help also process the trauma. Now, I love that.

And finding meaning, I think, in the midst of trauma is very important. And I think spirituality and connecting with God and connecting with other people that can strengthen our faith and believe in God as well is huge. And I'm also sitting here thinking like a lot of people as they go through traumatic experiences actually find that they have strengths and they have things that they never even realized they could do and maybe that would be part of what could be kind of even talked about in something like, well, what are some, maybe some of the strengths that I see in myself that I didn't even realize I had? And what are some of the good things that could even come out of this? Because of course, there's like a lot of horrible things that are happening, but can there still be good things that come out of difficult situations?

And highlight that in other people, right? Be like, wow, I saw you do this and it was amazing. Or I love how you're there for your daughter at this time, right, and highlighting that in others. I love the verse that says, share each other's burdens and then this fulfill the law of Christ. Right, we think about the law of Christ being the 10 commandments, but the law of Christ is loving 1 another.

And so coming together, during a natural disaster, they call it the pulling together phenomenon. If you look when something terrible happens, it's tragic, but you also see a lot of beauty of people coming together, sharing their burdens. When you share it, it becomes lighter. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And I love that saying that says trials shared or halved and joy is shared or doubled.

And there's so much truth to that. And so I think 1 of the main things we want all of you listeners to remember is like, yeah, even though there might be that predisposition to just avoid, to run, to not talk about things and to shut down. We want to actually do the opposite. We wanna press together. We wanna encourage 1 another.

We wanna not just pretend like everything's fine, right? But we want to process what is true, what is accurate. We wanna find meaning. So other things that you would add. Well, and just, you know, emphasizing the connection piece.

It's really important as you're wrestling with these things to connect with somebody, right? Maybe you don't have a community, but connecting with somebody, and that takes vulnerability, and that can be difficult, but it's both for you and for that person, because it's, again, it's needed for that healing. Some people say that without love and connection, it's impossible. Right? That's right.

Yeah, no, that's huge. And I'm so grateful that even though sometimes we can be tempted to lose trust in humanity and in the world and things that are going on there that we can always trust in God. And we can also connect with other people that no one's perfect, but there are still a lot of good people in this world. And there are a lot of people that are wanting to be there for you. So don't just shut those people out and the connection piece is hugely important.

And for all of you listeners, I really wanna remind you that, no trauma is bigger than God. He is bigger. And in reality, no trauma is bigger than you with God's help, with his strength. And so keep trusting, keep growing through this because you can grow stronger. And like Dr.

Katie said, stay connected. And we'll work by God's grace, we can all work through this together. So thank you for listening. And again, we're going to be continuing to pray for all of those around the world that are suffering, especially for those of you in Ukraine. Thank you.

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Series

The Brain People Podcast 2022

Dealing with Trauma Part 2

Parent Series

Sponsor

Recorded

Other Teachings in Series

Powerful Tools for Healthy Grieving

27m

Becoming the New You: The 4 Stages of Change

23m

Good Therapy: How to Maximize Your Therapy Experience

22m

Attachment Styles: The Key to Understanding Your Relationships

27m

Telling the Hard Truth in Your Relationships: Betrayal Trauma Part 1

30m

What to Do When Trust Has Been Broken: Betrayal Trauma Part 2

28m

You’re Looking at the Problem - How Screens Affect Our Brains

29m

A New Epidemic: Teen Suicide

25m

CBT for Kids

23m

The Good Side of Guilt

24m

Staying Mentally and Emotionally Strong During the Chaos of COVID-19

34m

The Role of Boundaries in Mental Health

39m

Developing Personal Accountability

23m

Unknown Sides of Narcissism

29m

Dealing with Trauma Part 1

16m

Dealing with Trauma Part 2

15m

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 1

17m

Resilience in Stressful Times Part 2

22m

Healthy Grieving and Memorial Day

29m

Victim vs. Victor Mentality

29m

Dissociation

32m

Ten Cognitive Distortions

38m

The ABC’s of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

34m

Optimizing Mental Health in Summer

28m

Root Causes of Mental Illness

34m

Sound Doctrine